Bpd breakup reddit Members Online NSFW "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This has to do with the fact that they are always splitting, i. The breakup wasn’t the only thing that contributed, but it was a fairly big contender. The fact is she is being honest and telling you that she may well hurt you in the future. Codependency Traits. 15 articles on BPD relationships. It's okay to not be an emotional dumpster for your partner. He just doesn't like me the way I like him, I don't want to bother him or force him to date me again. Sometimes, these things can’t be avoided and it’s unfair to you to stay in a relationship that you are unhappy with for additional time. So even though I'd forgiven him for all the things he'd done to me, in the end, he was the one who had to break up with me to ease the mental burden. Out of the Fog. You are in a trauma bond. Jul 5, 2023 · Hello. Therapist told me why it‘s so hard after BPD breakup I've been seeing a therapist for a while now and he told me that a borderline relationship often leads to blatant crises. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 7 votes and 16 comments "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I really loved and cared about this girl. I don't think I'll ever be able to date anyone "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She needs to mature and get some help, it never seems that way as someone with active bpd but time alone is very beneficial to gain mental clarity and find out who you are. It was devastating but I had to accept that it was the best decision to make. People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. i can almost guarantee if i get suicidal or depressed i will want to break up with him so that i can have less of a guilty conscience if i hurt myself or so i don't feel bad for being a shit s. Expecting the Unexpected: A BPD Breakup Guide "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). 280K subscribers in the BPD community. Is there a reason they're able to move on so quickly after discard/breakup, considering they're suppose to be very "emotional" and when they love they love deep (according to the BPD sub at least)? I got fed up by my ex's constant mood cycling and sudden breakup/disappearance, so I "broke her heart" by not taking her back the second time around. yes bpd does have negative side effects like any other mental disorder BUT we should not shame them. Speaking from experience, the best way to break up with a BPD is by letting them break up with you during one of the many push/pull scenarios and by letting them feel like it was their decision to end the relationship. . so i think neither you, me or any other person with bpd should think they are a bad person, because we are loving, like a lot, i don’t think there is anyone else who can give a person more love than a person with bpd, we would do anything for a person we love. This is my first breakup ever. However, this is usually followed 56 votes, 43 comments. thankfully he's really good at reading my emotions, and "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This subreddit is an abuse support forum. this is the only time I've actually spoken my urge to break up and the span of time between me breaking up with him and us deciding not to break up was within the same hour. I do not have BPD and do this out of reactivity linked to the way my mom and aunts taught me to feel about mySelf and my worthiness of love. Hey everyone , I have been with my GF for about 5 months now , the past week was hell of an emotion rollercoaster for me , Last week she started suggesting breaking up and the fact and she has no feelings for me anymore , i try to calm her down and understand her and then later the day she says she's so in love with me and she only said cuz she was scared of me leaving her but i genuinely "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). me (23) her (20) We never had any real issues and whenever something did happen we would always talk about it over all was a very healthy relationship. Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental illness comprising difficulties in four areas: 1) emotions tend to be intense and rapidly shifting; 2) relationships tend to be conflicted and stormy; 3) there may be impulsive, self-destructive or self-defeating behaviors; and 4) there is a lack of a clear and coherent sense of identity "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Hi everyone , This is my first time posting here but I have been lurking for a while. After the break up, I did a lot of reflecting and read up on BPD. EDIT: If by "affected" you meant could the antidepressants have prompted her to break up with you, I suppose it's possible that they could have contributed in some way. A lot of us are of the anxious attachment persuasion and breakups are hard for us regardless of the BPD partner. My BPD partner broke up with me last Friday and I think straight up split black and white on me. I will say, stay strong. Horrible illness! I only can go on what you say; I don't know the full dynamic between the two of you but it sounds like it isn't the BPD from what you're saying. I remember my PWBPD told me that, after they had broken up with their ex of six years they were living with and then immediately started hooking up with guys on tinder after the breakup, they came home to their miserable ex who was asking them how they could be so happy after the breakup. usually when i get urges to break up it's when im on an extreme low side of an emotional slip. A break up with a borderline doesn't feel like a break up, it feels like withdrawal and that's because it is. I have BPD, and have been the victim of NPD abuse. BPD Relationship Overview: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a hereditary, genetic condition that significantly affects emotions, sense of self, memory and interpersonal relationships. Sometimes it takes me years to split. what works best to get through to me when i’m having an episode is support and not criticism. I recently broke up with my ex of 2 yrs. It's so hard to objectively look at it these instances and know that things can be worked out or simmered on before rash decisions are made, but then something switches within the depths of my mind Tomorrow I am going to break up with my girlfriend who has BPD. if you are meant to be together, things will work out after you learn how to manage your bpd better. Borderline personality disorder symptoms and "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I think that, given the circumstances of you being apart, it would be okay to break up over the phone. 5 years, got my diagnosis for BPD about a year ago and now I’m going through a break up and it’s the hardest thing ever. However, there are a couple of common scenarios people find themselves in when breaking up with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. Glad you could join our forum. Reply Interesting-Bat7268 • According to my therapist, it is a BPD thing and everyone has BPD symptoms with some areas stronger than others. One of his obsessive recurring thoughts was about not hurting people, most of all me. Once your brain tastes that chemistry you’ll be able to decide a little more if a permanent breakup is something that adds or subtracts from your anxious thoughts. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD… "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The Fight Response Time and poor coping :( I honestly think that age has tempered my BPD a little bit so I’m not as petulant as in my 20s. Quit bathing for a month; wear moth-ridden oversized shirts; start drooling; learn to communicate like Shane MacGowan after an all- "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). But I feel like I'm dying. It's said to get validation and attention to get rid of the pain. I felt like I was abandoned, unloved and wanted to kill myself. Every time they have a “feeling they can’t shake” and they fall out of love with me, regardless of the fact that things were going extremely well this year. Expecting the Unexpected: A BPD Breakup Guide May 26, 2024 · @nobodybro Hi there. Nov 21, 2022 · Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects many areas of a person’s life, including their relationships. IDK your circumstances like the length of your relationship or if you have kids together. You should put yourself first and gently break up with her, it isn’t healthy. the main difference is that people with BPD have issues with splitting- it really is a rollercoaster of extreme emotions that can be overwhelming and uncontrollable. I went through almost an identical situation. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The emotional intensity, fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors can create a perfect storm of distress. Sure, normal break ups have to cease communication but with a BPD break up, first it is a blindsided break up for most parts. this breakup sent me in a spiral. Your ex was the one responsible for staying in love with you and for dealing with BPD. I burn bridges and walk away. So, I lost my shit when he refused to get back together. (2015). It’s so frustrating knowing that emotionally this is how I feel, yet logically knowing that I don’t want to break up with him and this is the bpd side of me talking. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 7 votes and 16 comments Jun 3, 2011 · However, there are a couple of common scenarios people find themselves in when breaking up with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm no longer at that point in my life where I would, but it is possible that it was said to be unintentionally manipulative. The Fight Response. It Jun 3, 2011 · There’s never an easy way to break up with somebody you’re in a relationship with, and how it happens is going to vary wildly depending on the people and the situation. She is an incredible person and I love her but I can't be her girlfriend anymore. Members Online BPD is the most infuriating disease "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). you just summarized this so well. (Their need for control and abandonment. In… "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It might be helpful. And I was on two other medications but I was on the lithium when I decided you know what my very big high storms that no medication has yet to get rid of I just need to isolate for a few days and that's what I did every year when this kind of thing pops up I take a break from work I go up into the mountains where there's no internet no phone and only 1 a. I dated a girl who had strong traits of BPD. You have your limits and your own mental health to take care of. i told him about my bpd before "quiet" BPD I can only describe as regular BPD but instead of "snapping" when I decide someone doesn't like me anymore, I just wallow in a sticky muck of emptiness and guilt that I could have done something to prevent the other person from hating me. e. Oct 29, 2019 · Breakups have always been rough for me. We’ve broken up many times before, but only for like an hour, but this time it’s for real. 21 votes, 17 comments. Alright so I don’t know how to handle this. Web Content. true. Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie. Armchair diagnoses are very detrimental to the person and the people around them. I am on mobile so obligatory apology for the format for pc users. it was a conversation and we thought for like, 5-10 minutes that we were gonna break up and we both simply were like "actually no" I'm actually impressed by how common the make-up/break-up phenomenon is within the BPD space. BPD Wiki Notes. She understands you have BPD. Please know that it’s not the end of the world when your relationship ends. Does anyone have any advice for going through this already emotional time, as an emotionally unstable person? "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I think the reason why it affected me so much is because he told me he loved me and couldn’t wait to marry me, and then two hours later blocked me on everything with no goodbye or explanation why. People with BPD are really sensitive and feel/know when something is off, don't invalidate her feelings. The dizziness of looping between high intensity negative emotions like self harm, impulsively calling late at night, and talking about suicide is what I experienced too due to an inability to self regulate my emotions and thoughts. In all honesty, this is one of the tamer ways they break up cause I'm guessing you don't have any physical injuries or broken property. Almost 3 years, don’t be me haha. o. Last night I couldn't sleep, I had nightmares and had my first panic attack. Her BPD is NOT the only thing that makes the relationship untenable in the long term but I urgently need to end it because this pattern of trying to meet her needs and failing consistently is The BPAD/BPD misdiagnosis gambit should be put on a DSM's most common errors against humanity list. My advice would be to contact her family and friends and ask if they can make sure she's safe. Since we weren't really together that long, I thought I would be over her by now. People with BPD are all extremely different and there are so many ways the disorder can present- for some people with BPD this kind of issue could be absolutely destroying their life, while for another person with BPD, they might not even have it as a concern at all 😅 BPD unfortunately very strongly impacts the relationships of the person with the condition, for better and for worse. You are the caretaker of a malicious emotional parasite that has the most addictive venom on earth. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. The last time me and my boyfriend broke up I didn’t know I had bpd yet I just knew I couldn’t control my emotions so I kept separating myself from him bc I was tired of hurting him and lying and just being horrible sometimes and so I kept trying to break up with him but he always would just stay, he understand me alright backstory I’m The Essential Family Guide to BPD, by Randi Kreger. Best thing you can do is inform her parents/close friend so they can keep an eye on her after the Fleas: Borderline-like habits picked up from a relationship with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder. " "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People who opt for the fight response when ending a relationship will directly confront the person with Borderline Personality Disorder and tell them why they want to end the Mar 5, 2018 · If you're wondering what to do when a borderline personality disorder ends a relationship, the first thing you need to do is to stop blaming the illness for the breakup. I fully agree with what @Almostme said. I respect his decision. The thing is people with bpd can develop serious trust issues, become defensive and insecure and although she might usually be the nicest person in the world when these feelings are triggered she might turn and there is nothing like an abusive According to my therapist, it is a BPD thing and everyone has BPD symptoms with some areas stronger than others. I now feel like I could've done much more to save the relationship rather than resorting to breaking up. Tell her you want to see what a break up would look like between you. This is a very typical bpd breakup and very telling. I don’t break up with an ex until I split. I’ve been in a relationship for 3. that leads to stigma which leads to them not getting help. 62 votes, 34 comments. Dec 18, 2024 · This idealization and devaluation often occur through what’s informally known as the BPD relationship cycle, or the BPD breakup stages. I don’t know how to cope. I’m sorry you are hurting - some people just suck. I wouldn’t send her a text message or anything to break up, but give her a ring. There was never any communication about what they expect or want, everything is good today and tomorrow morning you get a break up text and then even if you are wanting to get some closure, there is no closure. Instead of working with the complexities of relationships and situations, a person with BPD splitting either sees them as all good (idealizes) or all bad (devalues). sudden breakup with bpd gf I was with this girl for 8 months. A lot of this place is (rightfully) venting and sharing negative experiences that we had with BPD loved ones, but I’d like to create a discussion on actionable things that helped you recover from your BPD relationship and get to a healthier place where you were happy with your life and future romantic prospects. It's okay to break up with someone with mental health issues and it's okay to break up with someone because of their mental health issues. If you’ve come to this sub-reddit, you’ve likely realized that you’re not alone in your feelings. We were only together for a couple months but I let myself get way too attached way too fast. Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, by Shari Manning. i also think that ppl with bpd are more understanding and compassionate of others This is a very typical bpd breakup and very telling. Unfortunately the cycle creates a ton of instability for us both in our relationship which then tends to lead to more fights and the cycle repeats itself. untreated BPD can be destructive and the person with it will seek love but not know what to do with it out of a fear of abandonment: they will try to I think that in itself has been good in regards to the grieving. ppl with BPD are more likely to get abused than most other mentally ill people, but bc of stigma they are easily gaslight into thinking they are the problem. it’s ‘how can i help you/ what can i do for you/ what can we do,’ versus ‘why did you do that/ why are you like this/ you should do or be or feel this instead We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. All of us here understand and know the pain that comes from a relationship with a pwBPD. they are 10% more likely to 56 votes, 43 comments. After this I would’ve wanted to at least navigate the break up together, understand what happened, how we were feeling, just show and receive affection from a person I lived my life with in the last 8 years but the concept of this break up, the brutality of it, was not just “I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore” but “I don’t I'm going through a breakup right now. Just like you'd break up with any other person. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. But, it seems like what is said about BPD/B relationships held true, at least with her. you are super great or super bad. But there is a place on the other side where the sun actually shines and it's not going to go away just because you forgot to look at it at exactly the right time (long story as to why that once caused a fight with my bpd girlfriend). But my god this is really painful. ) "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). BPD does something that triggers shame (cheats, lies etc), or they just want to leave the relationship. Also, you might want to go no contact for a while if they still have feelings for you. Subsequently, they push/bait the non to react badly. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Members Online Realistic-Drive1518 Do you know her family or friends? Anyone you can notify that can stay with her for a bit after you break up so that they can make sure she's safe? You do not need to stay with her just because of her mental health. Her suicidal tendencies are not your problem (this sounds hard, but otherwise you can never break up). My BPD ex took every drug under the sun, and nothing helped; it's because medicine only works for chemical imbalances, whereas BPD is an emotional/personality disorder. My friends seemed to move on much faster than me, but even more than that, they didn’t seem to feel the same nothingness that I felt when I was enduring a… My last break up pushed me to a suicide attempt. If it becomes abusive please just walk away and don't continue the conversation. don’t forget that your wife cannot prescribe herself a mood stabilizer, and should always only follow what the doctor prescribes. It feels like it weighs down every aspect of my life either until I get over them. I'm just looking for support for getting over a pretty bad break up. I was angry and said let’s break up then (out of impulsivity and spite/splitting) and he agreed. Members Online Ok-Department2819 "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Unfortunately, that causes many non-disordered people in abusive relationships to rationalize the abusive behaviour they are enduring. Sep 22, 2024 · Navigating a breakup with Borderline Personality Disorder can feel like trying to find your way through a dense fog. The BPD can’t then admit to the shameful act and break up with the non as this would enforce their shame and remove them from the position of the victim. Bpd break up Broke up with my bpd girlfriend yesterday after a blowup the day previous. One of my exes and I broke up and I wanted to die. hi beautiful souls ️ so i’ve been noticing lately that every time my ex and i break up (we’ve broken up and called it quits several times now) i go into a manic episode right after ? this happens every time we break up— i usually start doing reckless shit, start riding on a high wave of energy, change my style, buy a lot of things, start new hobbies, texting all of my ex flings, start Unfortunately it got to a very bad point. Once I split I’m done. This has happened twice in the past but this time, he has not entertained any of my tries at reaching out or my apologies and ignored my messages for a day. We got back together 4 months later (our break up was the catalyst for my getting all of my mental health diagnosis. I've been toying with the idea that making yourself as unappealing as possible might be a strategy for ensuring discard. The Essential Family Guide to BPD, by Randi Kreger. I’m completely lost. I did a lot of damage to myself and relationships when I split from that last breakup. Reply Interesting-Bat7268 • Jan 9, 2013 · Hey there, unfortunately these behaviours can be common in bpd ( except the stealing, that's not necessarily common. Those with BPD often suffer with what is called splitting. Brief background. That the separation isn't like a normal break up---it's sudden and unexpected. I have talked to my therapist and I think she just isn't experienced with… I think it depends entirely on the person and their situation. I've gone through the bpd breakup and yes, it was horrible. I don't know what triggered that). Listen to this person op. Please remember that you're a person too. I am going through a breakup and I am having a really, really hard time. I know when I got a divorce. The illness may have increased your ex's negative emotions, but it's not something you or your ex can put the blame on. but Im tired I need help, how can someone with BPD, PTSD , domestic violence, etc have a healthy relationship and not treat badly my SO when he does nothing to trigger me, he reads about BPD, started going to therapy and I keep bringing him back to my breakup cycle ☹️ I don’t think it’s fair at all to suggest BPD or mental illness just because someone moves on quicker. I don’t have an easy fix, nothing about BPD has been easy. This is impacting you too. Add in the BPD’s demon-possessed monkey brain that methodically stripped us of our remaining self-esteem, and we’re left with a really bad time after the breakup. "Splitting is a defense mechanism to deal with emotions (such as the fear of abandonment) that they cannot handle. Although I am the one who initiated the break up, deep down I wanted him to stop me. Codependent Relationships. I have BPD. You’re not Whatever you do, be sincere to her. During the relationship, I didn't know about this disorder. It was my first relationship with a male BPD and first time being cheated on where he left me for the affair partner. He said our relationship is a ticking time bomb and he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. broadcast radio The internal pain that someone with BPD feels when a break up happens can be overwhelming and we'll do anything we can to avoid or to get rid of the pain. I personally don’t have bpd but my ex of three years does, we’ve been on and off which I just found out is common in bpd relationships. i still split on my current boyfriend and start arguments but i know when i am wrong and when i am overreacting. When you're in a relationship with a borderline you are not in a relationship. m. Here’s what I would do: tell her. BPD is a very, very serious illness that you would have noticed in the duration of your relationship. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD… Jan 1, 2021 · You will more than likely see it mentioned time and time again, that BPD can only be diagnosed by a professional. BPD is not an excuse for us to be abusive. my bpd is still unmanaged and quite bad, but because i am older now i can express my feelings better. Rejection is awful and it reminds me of the rejection of my female parental unit(s). I thought I would be doing much better than I am now given everything that’s happened. Studies reveal extensive differences in brain structure and function. houtu bdrdi fvrr yiszxo rcgjs xiaua iskuxa vcvifb yyic fglwx